higher ground

Your hands are a war zone I have learned to sleep in.
The trembling of walls is my favorite lullaby
There is so much death in that smile of yours
So much zoom and halt
So many promises unkept

I have been a fool for you
Have been a waiting thing
For you
A woman in the wings
Of your Opera house
The sound of you is enchanting
You siren man
Your love is too distant for me
Too reminiscent of a father I never knew
Too penetrating for how shallow you go
This love only fills me half the time
The rest I am left trying to decipher your distance
And I don't sleep well anymore
Can feel the ache of your attention slowly shifting in my teeth
My stomach is never settled
And my days are spent wishing for things to be as they sometimes are

I have always loved dangerous men
There was a stick of dynamite
A bowling ball
And you
The tsunami, the earthquake and the atom bomb
I have been a casualty of every war
But this time
This time I can feel the chaos stirring
I feel the ground too still
I am heading for higher ground

Do not follow me.