I got a reading the other day. I was hoping for something about career or future love, this woman only told me about the push and pull loving him has been. I laughed uncontrollably. She told me that I was in control and that at any point when I was finished, it would be done. I am done. Seeing images of his life doesn't help so I limited his posts on my fb feed. The reminders of all the things I like about him don't help. He is in London right now. He text me last night. I never responded. It is not for a lack of wanting to, but a lack of wanting to continue going back and forth. There was a time I thought we had something that could last a long while and I suppose we have. Nearly 9 years of this tug of war love. I am still angry. I feel very unseen. I know much of my anger is that he is not who I thought he was, only the beautiful glow I cast on all I love. His halo was my own. This letting him go is for the best. I did everything I could. One day he will understand what could have been. It will be too late. It already is.